Spring Dodging Agency

"Welcome to the Spring Dodging Agency, what level of spring dodging service do you require?" The receptionist's voice was unnaturally sweet, as if it had been modified by AI.

I looked around, this so-called "agency" was more like a finely decorated coffee shop, except that the walls were covered with different styles of "spring dodging kits," ranging from simple plastic raincoats to fully enclosed space capsules, with price tags that were staggering.

"I'm just...curious," I replied somewhat awkwardly. After all, in an era where everyone is dodging spring, someone like me who has doubts about "spring dodging" itself is already considered an outlier.

"Understood, understood," the receptionist maintained her professional smile, "Recently, there have been many people like you who do not understand the meaning of spring dodging, but it doesn't matter. Our agency can provide a complete 'spring dodging experience' service, from psychological counseling to real-scene simulations, ensuring that you will fall in love with spring dodging."

Her words piqued my curiosity. What has happened to this world? Ever since the experts seriously put forward the theory that "dodging spring to avoid Tai Sui can eliminate disasters and avoid misfortune," the whole society has been as if under a spell, everyone is busy dodging spring. In the early spring season, the streets and alleys are empty, leaving only the howling wind.

I chose the cheapest "entry-level experience." Soon, I was led into a small room with only a display screen and a pair of headphones. The screen showed various "spring dodging" scenes, with some people hiding in their quilts, some hiding in basements, and even some hiding in coffins. The headphones played various "spring dodging instructions," with exaggerated tones, as if conducting some kind of religious ritual.

I patiently watched the whole process, feeling even more confused. This is not dodging spring, it’s clearly avoiding reality.

"How was it? Do you feel the importance of dodging spring?" the receptionist appeared again, with an expectant smile on her face.

"I still don't understand," I shook my head, "Is dodging spring really useful?"

The receptionist paused, her smile stiffening, "Sir, you shouldn't ask that question. You should enjoy the process of dodging spring, and the sense of security and satisfaction it brings."

I began to understand that dodging spring is less of a disaster-avoidance ritual and more of a psychological placebo. When the entire society falls into fear of unknown risks, "dodging spring" becomes a collective unconscious act of avoidance.

"Your business must be very good, right?" I asked tentatively.

The receptionist smiled even more brightly, "Of course, who isn't dodging spring now? Even those experts who oppose dodging spring have secretly bought our most expensive 'ultimate spring dodging kit'!"

I felt a chill. I suddenly realized that this agency was selling not safety, but another form of illusion, an illusion that allows people to escape reality with peace of mind.

At this moment, the door of the agency was pushed open, and a middle-aged man walked in. He was wearing a mask and wrapped in a thick down jacket, looking like he had just escaped from some confined space. He walked to the front desk and said in a hoarse voice, "I...I want to cancel my spring dodging agreement, I...I've had enough."

The receptionist's smile vanished instantly, and she looked at the man with a cold gaze, "Sir, are you sure? Canceling the agreement means you will bear all unknown risks, you might...will..."

The man interrupted her, "I'm not afraid of anything, I just want to live normally."

The receptionist sighed and took an agreement from a drawer, "Okay, please sign here."

The man took the pen, his hand trembling slightly. Just as he was about to sign, a sharp alarm sounded suddenly in the agency.

"Alarm, alarm, spring dodging instructions have been upgraded, all non-spring-dodging personnel will be forcibly quarantined!" a mechanical voice echoed throughout the agency.

The pen in the man's hand fell to the ground with a "thud," he raised his head, looking around in horror. Outside the glass windows of the agency, a team of fully armed robots appeared, holding strange firearms, aiming at every corner.

"What's going on?!" I asked in panic.

The receptionist looked calm, as if nothing had happened, "It's nothing, just that the spring dodging program has been upgraded." She pointed to a screen on the wall, where a line of bright red words appeared: "Spring Dodging, Starts with Compulsion."

I looked at the man who was trying to cancel the agreement, he had already collapsed to the ground, his eyes filled with despair. I suddenly understood that the so-called "spring dodging" had long become a social cage that could not be escaped, and we, were all trapped beasts in the cage.